Medically known as dyspareunia, pain during sex refers to persistent or recurring genital pain that occurs before, during, or after intercourse. It can affect people of all ages and backgrounds and may stem from physical causes, emotional factors, relationship dynamics, or a combination of these.
The good news? With the right support and treatment, most people find meaningful relief.
When intercourse is painful, the cause is rarely “just physical” or “all in your head.” The mind and body are deeply connected, especially when it comes to intimacy. Emotional and psychological factors can directly influence how the body responds during sex.
Both can reduce arousal and contribute to vaginal dryness or involuntary muscle tightening (vaginismus).
Chronic stress often causes the pelvic floor muscles to tense without conscious awareness, leading to discomfort.
Feeling self-conscious can reduce relaxation and increase pain sensitivity.
Previous experiences may create lingering physical responses. With professional support, these responses can be unlearned.
Poor communication, unresolved conflict, or emotional distance can worsen discomfort during sex.
Once pain occurs during intercourse, fear of it happening again can cause muscle tightening and reduced arousal — which then leads to more pain. This cycle is common, but it can be broken with the right care and guidance.
Many people feel isolated when dealing with painful sex, but it’s actually a very common sexual health concern.
• Around 10–20% of women experience ongoing pain during intercourse
• Up to 75% of women will experience painful sex at some point in their lives
• It becomes more common after menopause due to reduced oestrogen levels
• Many cases go unreported because of embarrassment or stigma
Knowing how common this condition is can make it easier to speak up and seek support.
You don’t need to “push through” pain or avoid intimacy altogether. A healthcare provider can help identify the cause and recommend treatment tailored to your needs.
Important: Always consult a qualified medical professional before starting any treatment.
Depending on the cause, your doctor may suggest one or more of the following:
Help improve vaginal dryness and tissue health, especially after menopause
A medication that improves vaginal lubrication and comfort
Antibiotics or antifungal medications for infections or inflammation
Water-based or silicone-based lubricants reduce friction and discomfort
The right approach depends on your medical history, symptoms, and overall health.
In some cases, the body learns to expect pain — even after the original cause has been treated. Combining emotional support with gentle physical therapy can be highly effective.
Specialists may recommend:
Gradual vaginal relaxation exercises to reduce involuntary muscle tension
Helps address emotional factors and improve communication with a partner
Helps reframe negative thoughts around sex and pain
Focuses on strengthening and relaxing pelvic muscles through guided exercises
Medical treatment is important, but everyday habits and small bedroom adjustments can also help restore comfort and confidence.
• Take your time with foreplay to allow natural lubrication
• Communicate openly with your partner about comfort and preferences
• Experiment with different positions — being on top often allows better control over depth
• Use lubricants generously
• Practice Kegel exercises to improve pelvic floor strength
• Manage stress through relaxation techniques like deep breathing or mindfulness
It can feel awkward to talk about sexual pain, but ongoing discomfort is a valid medical concern. Early treatment can prevent worsening symptoms and protect your physical and emotional well-being.
• Pain that keeps returning or doesn’t improve
• Bleeding during or after intercourse
• Unusual vaginal discharge
• Irregular menstrual bleeding
Pain during intercourse can affect more than just your body — it can impact confidence, emotional health, and relationships. The most important thing to remember is this: it’s common, it’s real, and it’s treatable.
No matter the cause, help is available. You deserve comfort, confidence, and pleasure in your intimate life. Speaking with a healthcare professional is the first step toward feeling like yourself again.
Anxiety, depression, stress, past trauma, fear of intimacy, and relationship issues can all play a role by causing muscle tension or reduced arousal
Very common. Up to 75% of women experience it at some point, and 10–20% deal with it regularly
Treatment options include topical oestrogen, lubricants, pelvic floor physiotherapy, desensitisation therapy, counselling, and CBT. Always consult a doctor.
Yes. Extended foreplay, open communication, trying different positions, using lubricants, and doing pelvic floor exercises can significantly reduce discomfort
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