Marriage is a very big commitment. While on the surface it may seem very simple and straightforward, there is more to a marriage. Many couples enter this lifelong commitment without knowing what they are getting into.
Premarital counselling can make a big difference to a marriage. It can help couples start off their relationship with clear expectations, understanding and mutual respect.
Premarital counselling is a form of therapy that helps a couple prepare for the life they are about to start together. It helps them identify areas they need to work on and areas that might have issues in the future and also helps them build a strong foundation to make important decisions regarding finances, children, identifying roles, etc.
In premarital counselling, the counsellor will address various issues and help the couple understand not just each other’s views or perspectives on it but will shed light on their own views as well. Such counselling reveals a lot about oneself and each other.
Premarital counselling touches on various topics – all of which are important for starting a life and family together with a new person you met a while ago.
Premarital counselling is important in the following ways:
Each of us has a communication style. When you don’t understand your partner’s communication style, it can lead to numerous misunderstandings that can strain the relationship. A counsellor will help the couple understand the art of and need for clear communication.
Everyone has an understanding of and expectation from a marriage. A counsellor can help you see the reality and prepare you for what can actually happen. It can also help them change their mentality in various areas, to adjust and accommodate each other.
Marriage is a long-term commitment and one cannot take it lightly. Premarital counselling helps individuals understand how commitment is required from them to make the relationship work. This includes commitments towards each other, regarding children, finances, life goals, family needs, etc.
Every relationship goes through a honeymoon phase where both partners accommodate each other’s needs and compromise on many fronts. When it is an arranged marriage, many couples hardly get time to get to know one another properly, outside the formal setting. Premarital counselling helps partners understand one another in a safe setting.
Questions and discussions during counselling can help the partners understand each other’s stand on various issues that may be difficult to discuss otherwise. With a third party taking charge of the discussion, it facilitates a better understanding of one another without any prejudice or arguments.
Many premarital counsellors will ask for health reports from both partners to rule out health complications. Sometimes the results of these tests can be surprising to the person themselves. These tests can help partners make an informed decision about one another’s health issues.
Premarital counselling can offer you the following benefits:
When you and your partner decide to go for premarital counselling, you need to consider the following, to get the best benefits:
Do you need premarital counselling? Many couples start their married life without such counselling. While many of these couples go on to find their own pace and ways to handle situations, some approach a counsellor when issues start getting serious.
Premarital counselling does not guarantee a happy married life without any issues or need for counselling in the future. It helps both partners start their new life together with a better understanding, of themselves and one another. With such counselling, couples can build healthy relationships and stronger marital bonds.
Premarital counselling should ideally be done before even setting the wedding date. Since that is not always feasible, get the counselling as early as possible. Starting early helps the couple create a safe space for each other and understand each other well, before the wedding.
Premarital counselling will cover all important topics a couple has to deal with together in the future. This will include finances, family, children, conflict resolution, careers, expectations, as well as parenting. This counselling aims to prepare the couple to tackle life as a team.
In the first session, the counsellor will establish a rapport with both partners and discuss the couple’s life and relationship goals. They will also touch upon expectations of marriage to help both partners understand where each of them stands in this new relationship.
It may be awkward to discuss sensitive topics or receive advice from a complete stranger when your spouse-to-be is also still a stranger. However, this counselling aims to pave the way for the couple to start understanding each other and approach life as a team. The counselling will be very generic and will not unnecessarily touch upon personal topics unless required.
