Meaningful
One of its kind
Tale
Heard & told
Eagerly &
Remembered with love forever!
An experience which starts with “joy of sharing, caring and growing together (along with size :) )” which may have possibly not been part of one’s life until then; Undoubtedly, will begin now hearing the most pleasing and happiness invoking word, “Mother”!
Life is filled with varied aspirations with a hope that YES, today I am born to mark a new beginning. Elders say it is not just the baby that comes to life; a mother and father are also born. For me, journey has begun in the recent past, but experiences are definitely unlimited. It’s not a destination but a beautiful journey, where for the very first time “I’ is overridden by “Baby first”.
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What does it feel like carrying little beautiful soul inside womb and later in arms is like an experiment carried out in a new lab. This new experiment started in our life in fag end of 2010. Like every couple we were equally excited to welcome new beginning. Perception of what it means to be parents was built with few helpful books, guiding elders and of course how can I miss the little one inside me :)
To cherish these moments I was suggested to watch the movie “Naanu nanna kanasu”. A movie that relieves holistic journey a father goes through (highlighting mostly happy moments). At the end of the movie what I can recollect is the final tag line:“ನನ್ನ ಪುಟ್ಟಮ್ಮ, ನನ್ನ ಹಿರಿಯಮ್ಮ" "(My little baby is my elderly mother)-what a noble thought" and little one referred as O2 (Oxygen).With many more such instances I was prepared to unlearn and relearn new life along with my O2.
The day our beautiful O2 became a reality (and no more 2D/3D scan image) in Jul-2-2011, I can never forget her first cry ("as if she was telling, Amma they forced me to come out of your cozy womb" ),gentlest possible touch , million dollar smile "saying hey you all can see me, do I look like Amma or Appa???", warmest cuddle that goes beyond countless awards/promotions and pages of love letters!........Yes, these are the first few feelings I went through as a mother. Even with sleepless nights, a beautiful mind and soul next to you can make you see and think beyond “SLEEPING”………
The day how WE wish, was never part of our life....
Parenting at times unfortunately is scarier than being merrier. We underwent one of the most traumatic situations beyond our imagination, when O2 of our life who was in reality had added more meaning to life (more for her Appa) left us forever. What it takes for a parent to lose just discovered happiness lost in a flash, only one who has gone through can understand. The dream which as a family we had seen in our AAKANKSHA, became reality only for few months. A beautiful song which we were prepared to sing for years did not go beyond first line. What lesson did God wanted us to teach from this biggest tragedy is still unknown to us. Until we take our last breath, we can never forget the pain of losing our angel AAKANKSHA, who was and will be part of our LIFE consciously or subconsciously. Some where we were falling back to the same question time and again, “Why me”, “What did I do to go through this in life”…………………
We have relived the saying “Change is constant (for good/bad)”. As days moved on, we had to look ahead. We were desperate to get back to life. A common man even with ample options to look forward in life, fall back to “basic reason for sustaining human race” .
Another day, thankfully God helped us to recapture…………..
God was kind again, our angel came back to our life in early 2013. You call it God’s miracle, superstition or science, our second angel AISHANI resembles first one a lot (blood group, gestures and sleeping pattern are all same) J . Many who have not seen them both cannot make out the difference between two!!!!!Thankfully we are looking ahead in life all over again !!!! CHANGE in its true spirit materialized with coming of AISHANI, an irreversible change of time and space………. Shouldn't I ask same question now? “Why me”, “What did I do to get back to life”…………………
We are now experimenting all over again, with right & wrong steps like our little AISHANI’s first steps. Enjoying her tantrums, giggles, meaningless yet meaningful words she utters every day. Who else can make one feel that life is more meaningful than a lovely angel; who can magically turn an awful day to awesome with her unspoken gestures of love and warmth…….
Memories down the lane: This blog is not just as a mother what I experience, but to me should also have what experiences I made my mother ENJOY!!!! As a troubled and troubling teenager, each of us will have a Karan Johar movie kind of saga to share; I was in no way less :)
One such instance to quote: At the verge of becoming lady Karan Johar (It was DDLJ everywhere), I had created a serial of “love letters” to my unseen hero secretly…….. One fine day, during my absence Amma opened my cupboard for taking out some books and my ‘hidden secret’ became ‘open secret’ L……..
What can you expect a mother's reaction when she sees her daughter's act??????????? But to my surprise she responded to this and did not react. Amma was a true role model, I till now cannot be 1% of what she was . I am not saying this because she did not scold me for my act, but she was able to find out that “I have a flare for writing” through my letters and asked me to focus on writing during leisure. After all these years I am ready to exlore what was identified by Amma………
This is one of the biggest lessons learnt from my mother, for my own journey of becoming a Mom. Every cloud has a silver lining. One needs a parent/well-wisher to identify that silver line and nourish it!!!!!!!!!!
As a mother, I am all set to identify and nurture my angel’s silver lining, are you??????????
Every mother can write small stories about each day spent with their “WORLD”, it’s a challenge to know where to start and stop, stopping it here as a part of this blog……………Thanks cloud nine hospitals for ensuring that our experiences are shared :)
Every Parents eternal phrase: Dear baby, to world you may be someone, but “YOU” are “MY WORLD” forever……
-DeepArun
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