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How to Cope with Unplanned Pregnancy

Many people consider having a child is a true blessing; but what if you were not ready for such a blessing? What if you and your partner needed more time before you could start or expand your family? A positive pregnancy test at such a time can be quite a complication to deal with.

Couples do accept unplanned pregnancies with grace and poise but not everyone can do so. What do you do in case of an accidental pregnancy? How do you cope with an unplanned pregnancy?


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Surprise Pregnancy

Let’s say you and your partner are very careful, use protection, track dates and do everything within your limits to avoid getting pregnant, but you still miss your period. You take a pregnancy test and it shows positive. Despite a new life, you both are bound to be disappointed until reality sinks in.

A surprise pregnancy can be a joy for many while it can create havoc in some people’s carefully planned lives. In such a case, how do you cope with the demands of an unplanned pregnancy? let’s take a look:

What Causes Unexpected Pregnancy?

Having unprotected sex can lead to pregnancy. Sometimes, despite using protection, accidents can happen. Some of the main causes of unplanned pregnancy are:

·      No Contraception - The most common reason for unexpected pregnancy is not using contraception. Men and women can use contraception to avoid pregnancy. When you miss using effective contraception, it can lead to pregnancy.

·      Outdated Contraception – If the contraception is outdated or crossed its expiry date, its effect is lesser. As a result, it can lead to an unexpected pregnancy.

·      Incorrect Usage Of Contraception – Different contraceptives work differently. If you don’t use them as per instructions, you may end up with accidental pregnancy. If you are on contraceptive pills or injections, you need to take them consistently. Missing even one dosage can lead to an unplanned pregnancy.

·      Wrong Calculation – Some couples may track their menstruation dates to avoid pregnancy. if your menstrual cycle is not regular or if you calculate the dates wrong, and have unprotected sex during your fertile window, it can lead to a surprise pregnancy.

·      Contraception Malfunctioning – All forms of contraception are not 100% safe. condoms, pills, and even IUDs can malfunction, resulting in an accidental pregnancy.

·      Not Enough Time – In the case of a vasectomy, it takes about 12 weeks until the male is fully sterile. If you have unprotected sex before tests can confirm the sperm count is down to zero, it can lead to an unplanned pregnancy.

Natural Method – One of the most natural methods to avoid pregnancy when having unprotected sex is to pull out before ejaculation. What many couples don’t realise is that even the pre-ejaculation fluid can contain sperm, which can result in pregnancy. A small miscalculation in the timing can result in an accidental pregnancy. Even if the semen does not enter the vagina but is near the entry, it can cause pregnancy as the sperm can swim through any fluid and live up to 5 days inside the woman’s vagina.

How to Cope with Unplanned Pregnancy

When you get pregnant by mistake, it can impact both partners. While some couples can accept the pregnancy and plan for the baby, some cannot. The consequences of unintended pregnancy can be handled in multiple ways. Yes, pregnancy is a life-changing scenario, but you can cope with the unplanned pregnancy in the following ways:

1.    Accept

Many couples accept pregnancy. yes, you are not ready for a baby, be it emotionally or financially but you can accept the reality and start planning for the baby. You may go through phases where the initial shock will turn into fear or denial and eventually, you will come to terms with the pregnancy.

Accepting an unplanned pregnancy can be easier if both partners agree and have the support of near and dear ones. Give yourself the time and slowly start taking steps to prepare for the baby.

2.    Abort

Definitely not an easy choice for many. You can always abort the pregnancy. Today, with the changed abortion laws, it is easier to get an abortion. Though you have limited time to decide, do not rush into this decision. Ensure you abort through a well-reputed licenced doctor. It is a medical procedure and needs to be done by a qualified professional only.

3.    Seek Help

Counsellors and support groups can be of great help. They can help you accept the situation and also help you decide on your course of action depending on your situation.

Help can even be in the form of money or help during the pregnancy, from near and dear ones. If you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy, do not shy away from asking for help.

4.    Consider Options

Look into your options. can you have the baby or not? If you go ahead with the pregnancy, can you support the baby? do you have enough support? Are you healthy enough? Pregnancy involves multiple aspects. When you are not ready for it, it can be quite confusing and scary. Stay calm, take your time and assess your options.

5.    Adoption

If you are not ready to have the baby but do not want to abort it either, you can give up your baby for adoption. It is definitely no tan easy decision, but you can find a good family for your baby through the right channels. Ensure you go through government-recognised or licenced agencies.

6.    Communicate

It is important to communicate with your partner. It is essential to provide a steady and safe home for a baby. Honest and open communication between the partners is very important, especially when both of you are grappling with the shock. It can help you navigate through this confusing stage together as a team and do what is right for yourselves and the baby.

Must Read: How to Prepare Yourself for a Healthy Pregnancy: 10 Tips


Unexpected pregnancy can be a hard situation to deal with. It is not a temporary phase that you can get over and move on with your regular life. No matter what you decide to do, it need not be very difficult, if you find the right help and support.


1.     What should I do for an unplanned pregnancy?

Once you learn about the pregnancy, you should confirm the diagnosis through a doctor and decide what you want to do next. Taking sometime and making a clear choice can help you deal better with the surprise.

2.     What happens with an unplanned pregnancy?

The couple go into shock when they find out about the pregnancy. Different people handle the surprise differently. It can be an uncomplicated journey if you find the right support and make decisions based on what suits you and your partner.


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