I have been thinking of penning down my thoughts on motherhood for a long time now but have been making ‘finding the time’ an excuse up till now; The prospect of sending this piece for a contest gave me the much needed push and here I am writing my story stealing time whenever my baby sleeps. So motherhood to begin with has taught me the art of packing in many more things in my day. Though this is undoubtedly going to be a rushed write up I am happy to have managed the time to write it and hopefully it will be in time for the contest.
My journey of motherhood is no different from what thousands and millions of mothers go through round the world. It is surely a roller coaster ride taking me on top of the world one moment to bringing me right down where I begin to feel this is not the kind of life I wanted for myself. Anxiety, confusion, mood swings, loneliness, excitement, wonder, thrill, sheer joy and back with post partum depression is the whole gamut of emotions I experienced right from my pregnancy to when I held my boy in my arms to five months later. Becoming a mother - giving birth to and raising a child is certainly my most overwhelming experience so far and also one that helped me discover certain facets about me. For one I never knew I could be so patient displaying total calm while handling my child while I am going through turmoil within. My husband pointed this out to me and I felt good about myself. I learnt that I am my child’s first teacher and even something as simple as anxiety could pass on to him through my own behavior. The second lesson motherhood taught me is to be alert and watchful of my word and behavior for he is going to learn my ways.
In sharing this story I must also share with you that I wanted a girl and you cannot imagine my disappointment when I found out that the little bundle in my arms was a boy. Looking back, I laugh about it to myself now because it doesn’t matter anymore. The wonder in his eyes as he tries to get familiar with his surroundings is something I love admiring about him. His smile and the way he looks into my eyes and communicates with his aa’s and oo’s is the most precious thing to me. It makes me feel special and complete as a woman. That smile is every mother’s reward for all the exhausting days and sleepless nights which is a unanimous experience. There is no newness in narrating the details of this part of the story so I decided to give it a miss and concentrate more on my biggest learning from this experience - respect and gratitude for every mother starting with my own.
Becoming a mother has been a humbling experience for I now have greater insight into the difficulties one has to go through in giving birth to and nurturing a child. Motherhood is an exciting milestone in every woman’s life but not as glamorous alone as it seems. There are not just physical difficulties but challenges on an emotional and psychological level too. And I am sure some others will be able to identify with me on this one. The sacrifices made in order to care for the child - these are feelings only a woman who is a mother can understand no matter how much others may empathize. There are choices that need to be made at every step and a mother’s heart is such that it is mostly in favour of the child.
Today I realize that someone made those sacrifices for me and there are others out there doing it for their children and I can’t but help salute them for all their love and care. I never felt this way till I became a mother myself. Motherhood has just begun and is a long journey for me but I thought of taking a moment out and showing my appreciation to mothers out there who are doing their best day in and day out in making a man of a little baby. This is my little tribute to all you unsung heroes. If there were no mothers, there wouldn’t be a you too.
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