When newly-wed Reena had problems consummating her relationship with her husband Sameer, she knew the problem would make inroads into her overall happiness. So, what did she do? Read on.
When Reena (name changed) had started chatting with Sameer (name changed) online, little did she know that the chats would soon blossom into love. But, blossom it did, and before she knew it, she was sending out messages to her friends about her wedding! As the D Day drew closer, she was a mixed bag of emotions - she was excited, nervous and even scared! But, one emotion that overrode everything was the anticipation of being with him, alone. This being her first relationship, it was time for her to experience everything that she had only heard from her friends - about the butterflies and of course, about the bees and birds!
However, her first-hand, first-time experience was nothing like she had thought of. As soon as Sameer inched closer, trying to consummate the relationship, Reena’s muscles tightened and an inexplicable fear took over her entire body. She shut her eyes, closed her legs and refused to let Sameer anywhere close to her legs. Sameer was more than understanding, but Reena, disappointed and confused, closed her eyes hoping for things to be better the next time.
This is what both Reena and Sameer told each other about the disastrous first night, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone teasing them, the newly-weds. Sure enough, Reena was very comfortable with his touch and longed for something more, so she was sure that it was just all the rituals and sheer exhaustion that had played a role in things taking the unexpected road.
With this ray of hope in her heart, Reena blended herself into the garbs of a married woman, looking forward to the life that awaited her.
As she began normal life after marriage, she thought it was time for her to try again. With the first time put behind her, Reena was excited to become married in the true sense of the term and so was Sameer. While the initial part of the act felt really great and progressed very well, as soon as Sameer tried intercourse, Reena blanked out. She pushed him away, closed her legs, felt the muscles of her vagina tighten beyond scope and shut her eyes tightly to just slip into a world that had no such complications.
Sameer didn’t force himself upon her, but turned away, visibly disappointed, yet being as supportive as he could possibly be. That night, she couldn’t sleep as she kept thinking that either something was wrong with her, or it was simply taking time because she had never done it before. She asked herself if things would get better with time, but she had the answer to the question sooner than she had thought. They don’t; they didn’t. Over the next few months, it was the same pattern being played out in the bedroom. Closed legs, tight muscles and a disappointed couple.
Even though there are several pillars that hold the entity of a relationship strong and standing, yet, if one of them has cracks, the entire foundation stands compromised. Reena was well aware of this and the fact that their sex life had been far from exciting and borderline non-existent, she could feel the tension tighten the strings on her relationship with Sameer. He had been distant, refusing even to demonstrate any simple display of affection, bothering Reena no end. She knew if she didn’t do something about this, her happiness would be at stake.
Being the tech-savvy person that she was, armed with a smartphone, she decided to get answers from the world’s favourite know-it-all - Google. All she had to do was to enter her symptoms and let Dr Google make a diagnosis. However, there is a difference between a person who has studied the human body and earned a degree through years of learning and experience and Google, that simply curates results for you, right? Therefore, as expected, she got all the more confused and agitated, magnifying her doubts and fears manifold.
When one of her friends connected with her to check how married life was treating her, Reena broke down uncontrollably. She confided in her friend that she was unable to have sex and how devastating it was for her and her relationship with Sameer. After listening to her and feeling empathetic, her friend suggested what was sensible - to consult a gynaecologist and understand what was the root cause behind this.
Since it made sense, Reena now had a task at hand - to find a doctor she could share these closeted problems with. After much research and review sifting, still quite unsure of how a clinic, known best for birth experiences, would be able to change her life for the better.
With several question marks making impromptu appearances inside her head, Reena walked into the Banjara Hills branch and was immediately in for a pleasant surprise. The warmth of the support staff in helping her get settled before the consultation in itself calmed her nerves. Looking at the number of people seated there, Reena expected the wait to be long, but she was in for another surprise -- less than 5 minutes of being seated, she was ushered into the chamber of Dr. Samatha, who, apart from specialising in twin and triplet pregnancies and deliveries, also takes a keen interest in women’s holistic health.
But, would she be the right doctor for Reena?
As soon as Reena met Dr. Samatha, her confidence and charm just connected with her so well that she was able to talk to Dr. Samatha openly about her issues, while also telling her about the inroads that it had made into her relationship with her husband. After carefully listening to all of Reena’s symptoms, Dr. Samatha suspected one condition - Vaginismus - something that hampers sexual relationship and causes pain upon insertion of any foreign object in the vagina.
To ensure that she didn’t make any concrete diagnosis without evidence, Dr. Samatha informed Reena that she would perform a few tests on her so that once the accurate diagnosis would come in, they could chart out an effective treatment plan for her.
In the next blog, we will talk about what Vaginismus is, how to be certain about the condition and how Dr. Samatha was the star in the whole process.